Fear of the Future, Dwelling on the Past...Be Here Now!

I'm the kind of person who likes to think about the past or the future...a lot. I find it difficult to live in the moment when there is so much to worry about that might happen, or hope that the past doesn't repeat itself. It's like that for me with going off of my psychiatric meds. I think about the past and how horrible I felt when I tried to taper off of them last time, and then ponder the future and get anxious whenever I contemplate how I'm going to survive getting off the meds in the future. I'm convinced that even though I've done a ton of research on alternative ways to help go off meds with as little side-effects as possible, I'm sure I'll still have problems.

This isn't such an unfounded fear. There just isn't a lot of data out on the internet about how to come off antipsychotic meds without side effects. Psychiatrists and doctors are usually at a loss as well, often saying that their patients don't have problems coming off meds. I've mentioned The Road Back and True Hope's protocol in other posts, but many of the people that used their supplements still have withdrawals or protracted withdrawals. Benzo Buddies is another website geared toward helping people get off benzodiazepenes (common class of drugs such as Klonopin Xanax and Valium), but they don't sell supplements. I keep hoping that there will be a time in my life that I can just rest for months on end to deal with the withdrawals, but that's not realistic. It's never a good time to go off meds for me, so I'll just have to stay as calm as possible and start the process. I'm still not mentally ready yet, but I'll have to face the inevitable at some point.

Some people ask why I want to get off my meds if I am stable, and that's a good question. I am concerned about the long-term side effects of Depakote, Seroquel, and Zyprexa. They can cause liver problems, diabetes, vision problems, and a host of illnesses a mile long. Some people can take these meds for a long time and never have any complications, but many people do have side effects. I figure the longer I'm on the meds, the more likely a problem will manifest. But, if I practice my "what you think about, you bring about" philosophy, then I should focus on feeling well and be grateful for every day that I feel good. Right now, I feel fine, so I'll focus on that and not worry about the future or dwell on the past. At least that's my plan for now.